Nearly a year has passed since I closed my 18-year-old yoga business. The challenges of the pandemic and the rise of franchise fitness made it clear that it was time to close this chapter and start anew. As I have many times before, I turned to yoga to ground myself—mind and body—during this period of uncertainty. When life has brought me to the brink of a breakdown, yoga has consistently been the practice that leads me to a breakthrough.

In 1997, I faced one of the most tremendous losses of my life when my father passed away suddenly at just 51 years old. Overwhelmed by grief, I spent the following year masking my pain with alcohol and prescription drugs. My body became frail and unwell, and some days I couldn’t even get out of bed. Desperate for clarity and healing, I decided to try Bikram yoga. At the time, its promises of transformation — a physical reboot and deep detox — felt precisely what I needed.

A new studio had just opened near my home, so I signed up and attended my first class. The experience was intense. The heat, the effort, the sweat felt like the toxins were being wrung from my very pores. There were moments I thought I might pass out. But I didn’t. I stuck with it. With each class, I grew stronger — physically and mentally. My body began to heal, and so did my habits. I stopped wanting anything toxic in my life. My relationship with prescription drugs ended, and even my approach to alcohol shifted. Today, while I still enjoy a glass of wine now and then, I value waking up clear-headed and ready for yoga far more.

Now, at 56, I find myself at another crossroads, trying to figure out my next steps in life. Closing my business has felt like another death — a profound loss of not only my livelihood but also the community and friendships I nurtured over the years. But as I have done before, I turned back to Bikram yoga. Today, I attended my first class in years, signing up for a whole month of practice.

Stepping into the studio felt like coming home — to myself. The heat, the sweat, the familiar sequence of 26 postures and two breathing exercises — it was grounding and nostalgic all at once. Some poses felt strong, while others revealed new weaknesses. And yet, the discipline and focus that Bikram demands helped me manage my swirling thoughts and emotions.

I’ve committed to practicing for five days and beyond to see where this journey leads. I don’t know if this practice will reignite the same fire it did all those years ago when I was at rock bottom. But I know this: Bikram yoga reminds me that answers come through action. The strength I seek is already within me — waiting to be uncovered, one sweaty pose at a time.

Here’s to the next chapter. Namaste.